Happy NewYear!

Everyone says the same thing this time a year. This year went by so fast! Where has the time gone? I can't believe the year's gone already? So I'm not going to say any of those. I really want to though! I can almost feel my fingers moving to those exact keys, but I'm stopping myself.

I've heard so many people say that they couldn't wait for 2009 to be over. As if everything bad that has ever happened to them, happened in 2009. I have the exact opposite feeling this year. I wish I could just stop time sometimes, bottle it up and relive some days over and over again. When I stop think about time, and what real little of it that we have together with our loved one's, it panics me. I can feel my heart start to race and panic kicks in. And right away I have to change the subject in my mind, quick Nikki think of something else! I've had to do this a lot since the passing of my dad. The subject of mortality really slaps you in the face, hard. I couldn't watch any T.V. that dealt with murder or medical issues for a real long time, because my mind would start to go places I really didn't want it going to. And you know that if I don't want to watch T.V. something strange is definitely going on! I've had a true lesson in faith these last few months of 2009. I've been reminded that there are many things, sometimes the most important things, that are out of my control. I've been blessed with feelings of comfort and peace because I know that my heavenly father won't give me anything I can't handle. He has given me so many blessings this year and I am so thankful for all of them. I have a happy healthy beautiful daughter. A husband who I love with all my heart, who loves me despite all my issues. And many family and friends who love me as well. So tonight as this year comes to an end, I want to say that I am so thankful for all of you family and friends, I consider each moment we spent together in 2009 a true blessing. I wouldn't trade them for anything. Thank you for making my 2009 so special :)